Modern-day Sage Gifts

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Bishop with a crozier case.

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Jules Henri Poincare

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

Scientist looking down a microscope is being looked down a microscope by god.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.