Modern-day Sage Gifts

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

Bishop with a crozier case.

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

Jules Henri Poincare

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

Scientist looking down a microscope is being looked down a microscope by god.