Modern Sage Gifts

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Life is Unfair: Insert $1,000 - Get Nothing in Return.

The Guru.

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

One way only.

Voltaire

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'