Modern Love Sage Gifts

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

Modern Charm

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"I'm turned off by the womanizing."

Be My P.C.V

"I know what you're facing. My Ted was previously owned, too."

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

"I remember when these two matched on Hinge, casually retweeted quips on Tweitter, lost each other for a bit, slid into Instagram DMs...and here we are at regular texting and marriage."