Elderly Mischief-makers Gifts

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

'...and you can take that wag off your tail!'

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"Is that a choir robe?"

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

"Hello, is this 999?"

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

'I've learned how to wink! Watch-.'

"Okay, one more time. . . let there be light!!"

"Now, tell us what happened, in your own words."

Kid in the A & E because his hand is stuck in his piggy bank.