Elderly Mischief-makers Pillows

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

'...and you can take that wag off your tail!'

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"Is that a choir robe?"

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

"Hello, is this 999?"

'I've learned how to wink! Watch-.'

"Now, tell us what happened, in your own words."

"Okay, one more time. . . let there be light!!"