Medieval Mischief-makers Pillows

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

Newt sale

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

'What's my fortune then?!

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

A trap for Santa

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'No pennies.'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

Tommy Cooper.

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'