Age Mischief Makers Pillows

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Urine sample

"Is that a choir robe?"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'

Next year Timmy gets socks for his birthday