Elderly Mischief Pillows

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Knights

Less expensive equivalent.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

The Left One As You Look At It.

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'