Medication Mischief Pillows

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Less expensive equivalent.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

"We need milk, eggs, bread, cheese. Underline cheese."

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"Four times daily, and I wouldn't worry too much, it's probably tension."

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

Most common side effects...

The Left One As You Look At It.

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'