Medication Mischief Pillows

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Less expensive equivalent.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

"We need milk, eggs, bread, cheese. Underline cheese."

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

14! What does that mean? We started the day with 100 pastries. We sold 85. There should be 15 left. But there are only 14. Overreaction coming. STOLEN SCONE!!! Breathe.

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"Four times daily, and I wouldn't worry too much, it's probably tension."

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

Most common side effects...

The Left One As You Look At It.

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'