Medical Mischief Maker Pillows

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

The Left One As You Look At It.

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"I'd like you to supply me with a urine, faeces and sperm sample Mr Brooks."

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

"No, I'm not prescribing a plasma T. V. for you, just plasma."

I've been told I have the body of a 20-year old. A 20-year old what wasn't made clear.

Less expensive equivalent.

'You've swallowed your Adam's apple.'

"Well, you passed some of the tests, but you failed others. I'm afraid you'll have to repeat grade 8."

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Knights

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'