Mystery Mischief Maker Pillows

"Now, tell us what happened, in your own words."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Knights

Hallowe'en wake up call

God creates humans.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'Good morning!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

Frankie the discount genie

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."