Mystery Mischief Maker Pillows

"Now, tell us what happened, in your own words."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Knights

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Hallowe'en wake up call

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'Good morning!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

A trap for Santa

Frankie the discount genie

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"