Mythical Mischief Maker Pillows

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

A trap for Santa

God creates humans.

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

The Tooth Ferret

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'What's my fortune then?!

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'No pennies.'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."