Magic Mischief Maker Pillows

'Sorry about that. My dog got a hold of my voodoo doll.'

Tommy Cooper.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Outside with that!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Occupational Hazards.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Knights

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

God creates humans.

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

Timpani for the devil

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Mozart swimming.

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"