Magic Mischief Maker Pillows

'Sorry about that. My dog got a hold of my voodoo doll.'

Tommy Cooper.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Outside with that!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Knights

Occupational Hazards.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

God creates humans.

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Timpani for the devil

Mozart swimming.

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

A trap for Santa