Magical Mischief Maker Pillows

"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"

'No pennies.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Glory be, but isn't it great to be in the doom and gloom business this year?'

Frankie the discount genie

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

Man marks at a sign marked 'Neighbourhood Witch Area' - then turns into a frog.

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Newt sale

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Occupational Hazards.

Knights

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

God creates humans.

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

Timpani for the devil

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Mozart swimming.

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"