Innocent Mischief Pillows

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Mistaken identity.

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

'It's some kind of silly note from the barbarians, sire. It says, 'We will, we will, rock you...'

Store front of 'Ace Roofing Co' Has a sign in the window- Our Mind Is Always In The Gutter

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

Those bubble wrap kids.

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

Two boys pulling faces

'I've learned how to wink! Watch-.'

"My strength is the strength of ten because I'm fourteen."

Guided Intimidation

"You're not a bird at a car wash. Stop it!"