Innocent Mischief Maker Pillows

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Bad dog."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Desert Island Water skiing.

'All right, who broketh the window!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Store front of 'Ace Roofing Co' Has a sign in the window- Our Mind Is Always In The Gutter

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'