Devilish Mischief Maker Pillows

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

God creates humans.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

A trap for Santa

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Frankie the discount genie

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'No pennies.'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."