Artsy Mischief Maker Pillows

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

Frankie the discount genie

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'No pennies.'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

One C Battery, Two Double A's.