Age Mischief Makers Gifts

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'All right, who broketh the window!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Urine sample

"Is that a choir robe?"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'