Young Mischief Maker Gifts

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Occupational Hazards.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Mozart swimming.

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

Timpani for the devil

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

'All right, who broketh the window!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"Earl is stuck on that note again. Give him a good kick."

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.