Youthful Mischief-maker Gifts

'All right, who broketh the window!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'If you think you're going to sit around here while I wait on you hand and big foot, think again young man.'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Urine sample

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."