Mirthful Mischief Maker Gifts

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'Call the Fire Brigade - the tree's stuck up the cat.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

Happy Mother's Day.

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'