Mindful Mischief Maker Gifts

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

God creates humans.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

A trap for Santa

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

Frankie the discount genie

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'No pennies.'