Mirthful Mischief Maker Pillows

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'Call the Fire Brigade - the tree's stuck up the cat.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Gesundheit!"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

Happy Mother's Day.

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

"What were those songs you were singing?"

'I don't think this is how we draw them to see who goes first.'