Merry Mischief-maker Pillows

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"Great Santa has been, I can be naughty again."

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

"Thanks for calling in, Joan. First off, can we agree that naughty/nice i purely a socially determined distinction?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Occupational Hazards.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Mozart swimming.

Timpani for the devil

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Frankie the discount genie

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"