Melodic Mischief-maker Pillows

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Occupational Hazards.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

God creates humans.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

Mozart swimming.

Timpani for the devil

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

Pizzicato Polka

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

A trap for Santa

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

The concert that never was. . .

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"