Mirthful Mischief Lover Gifts

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"Gesundheit!"

The Tooth Ferret

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

Happy Mother's Day.

"Who made this mess?"

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

"What were those songs you were singing?"

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

HMS Pinafore

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"