Artful Mischief-maker Gifts

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Frankie the discount genie

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'No pennies.'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"