Youthful Mischief Gifts

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

Whatever!

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Urine sample

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

Those bubble wrap kids.

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'