Youthful Mischief Pillows

'Who gave you that black eye?'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Whatever!

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Urine sample

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

Those bubble wrap kids.