Neighborhood Mischief Maker Gifts

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

"Bad dog."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'Good morning!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

'My lawyer told me to never put anything in writing.'

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'

"Maynard! Are you blowing smoke through the fence at Mrs. Woolsey again?"

"I can't remember the last time I ran my fingers through your hair."

'I hope you'll be able to keep my name out of it.'

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

"How long do you think I could get detention for doing this?"

Throwing snails into next door's garden

'How can one person do so many stupid things?'

'I've learned how to wink! Watch-.'