Garden Mischief Maker Gifts

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Outside with that!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

The invisible man makes a pancake

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

"It's festive. But I think it means no candy."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

Frankie the discount genie

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'No pennies.'

"Everything on his list - see to it, wrinkly!"