Modern Mischief Maker Gifts

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Outside with that!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Occupational Hazards.

Knights

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

The invisible man makes a pancake

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

Mozart swimming.

Timpani for the devil

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.