Modern Mischief Maker Pillows

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Outside with that!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Occupational Hazards.

Knights

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

The invisible man makes a pancake

Timpani for the devil

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

Mozart swimming.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Frankie the discount genie

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

The concert that never was. . .

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'