Medical Mischief Makers Gifts

"Is that a choir robe?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"Gesundheit!"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Less expensive equivalent.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"This is getting serious! He's asked me if I'd like to troll the internet with him tonight."

'...and you can take that wag off your tail!'

The Left One As You Look At It.

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'