Medical Mischief Seeker Gifts

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

Less expensive equivalent.

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

'Hard to say how your husband is at this point. We should know more once the bandages come off.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Knife-thrower.

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

Tragedy Strikes at the Linnaean Society Picnic

Carnivorous plant exhibition.

They say that animal behaviour can warn us about impending danger.

'I'm one year older and I should know better, but there are times all I want to do is tear into a new pair of slippers.'

'We hope to make antibiotics, interferon and diagnostic products, but just to be on the safe side, we're starting out with a line of shampoos.'