Eldercare Enthusiast Gifts

"Panic over Jane I've managed to find someone with a proper qualification to come and talk to Mr Foster."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Handle With Care

"Did you remember my mints?"

"Careful."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

Old Frogs' Home

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Fetch the Walker

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

Caution Student Driver.

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

New more powerful, furniture polish.

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

Care Home Eject Button.

"My butt is loose!"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"