Eldercare Advocates Gifts

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

Angry pensioner

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

Pension Calculation

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

'Nobility vehicle'

"It's strange...the hungrier I get, the less indignant I feel about the state of the federal deficit."