Elderly Rights Advocate Gifts

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Someone to see you!"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

How to save money on geriatric care?

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Angry pensioner

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

"Get off the lawn!"

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

Pension Calculation

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.