Elderly Rights Advocate Gifts

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Someone to see you!"

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

How to save money on geriatric care?

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Face it, Sven, we're old - pillage doesn't mean what it used to mean.

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

Angry pensioner

"I appreciate you want to keep an eye on me, but is that really necessary?"

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"Get off the lawn!"

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

Sadie's sick. Right. With laryngitis. Maybe something worse. She's got spots on her larynx. They did a biopsy. Oh no. She's in her 80s. She's planning for the worst. In case I die, I want you to know I don't like you. Just respect me.

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

Pension Calculation

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death