Eldercare Advocate Gifts

"It's strange...the hungrier I get, the less indignant I feel about the state of the federal deficit."

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

Angry pensioner

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

Face it, Sven, we're old - pillage doesn't mean what it used to mean.

"I appreciate you want to keep an eye on me, but is that really necessary?"

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

Sadie's sick. Right. With laryngitis. Maybe something worse. She's got spots on her larynx. They did a biopsy. Oh no. She's in her 80s. She's planning for the worst. In case I die, I want you to know I don't like you. Just respect me.

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"Have you given much thought to what kind of job you want after you retire?"

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

Pension Calculation

Little Did She Know