Eldercare Advocate Pillows

"It's strange...the hungrier I get, the less indignant I feel about the state of the federal deficit."

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Someone to see you!"

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

Angry pensioner

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

"Have you given much thought to what kind of job you want after you retire?"

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

Pension Calculation

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."