Elder Advocate Pillows

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

"Baldo, I never said humor your elders...you should respect your elders!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Someone to see you!"

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

How to save money on geriatric care?

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Angry pensioner

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

"Have you given much thought to what kind of job you want after you retire?"

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Pension Calculation

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'Nobility vehicle'

''Heaven's Waiting' Retirement Home? . . . 'We care for your parents so you don't have to.''