Eldercare Advocates Pillows

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

Angry pensioner

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Face it, Sven, we're old - pillage doesn't mean what it used to mean.

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"I appreciate you want to keep an eye on me, but is that really necessary?"

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

"I don't want your darn money! Get back here with that glass!"

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

Sadie's sick. Right. With laryngitis. Maybe something worse. She's got spots on her larynx. They did a biopsy. Oh no. She's in her 80s. She's planning for the worst. In case I die, I want you to know I don't like you. Just respect me.

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Pension Calculation

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

'Nobility vehicle'

Old people sign - Whatever