Eldercare Professional Gifts

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Duel in a wheelchair.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Someone to see you!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Caution Student Driver.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Fetch the Walker

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

Care Home Eject Button.