Elder Care Gifts

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Poor old dear can't talk much anymore I wonder what he's thinking...?" "Nice tits."

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

'You did it again, Ms. Wolfson. You left your toddler at adult care, and your father at day care!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"The only reason he can remember what he had for lunch yesterday, is because it's still in his lap."

Resthomes.

'How about a few of the pretty pink and yellow ones today, dear.'

'Mr Beckley is starting to dribble? Well, wipe it up, nurse, wipe it up!'

'He's my father and I say we dump him pricate...!'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"My butt is loose!"

"Panic over Jane, I've managed to find someone with a proper qualification to come and talk to Mr Morris."

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"We've brought Dad home form hospital for the weekend"

Allegations of nursing neglect.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

Loneliness of the elderly

Old people sign - Whatever

"Careful."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Care Home Eject Button.

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

Coalition Increases Retirement Age

Children help us in our old age, after they help us get there.

Caution Student Driver.

"Are we aging in place?"

"Working with the elderly causes all sorts of problems...but she can't retire until she's 69."

"Apparently the problem of dealing with 'adult care' can be easily solved..."