Elder Care Focus Gifts

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Handle With Care

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Fetch the Walker

Caution Student Driver.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

Care Home Eject Button.

"My butt is loose!"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

Face it, Sven, we're old - pillage doesn't mean what it used to mean.

"Methuselah's been retired for over 800 years, but what is he retired from?"