Elderly Care Gifts

"Fall prevention!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"I think she's the new nurse. She's been here ever since I can remember."

Care Home. Don't Care Home.

'I just pop down to Pediatrics when I need a bit of nursing care.'

Darby and Joan zimmer frame tandem

"Ernie!! Watch the speed bu....."

'Nobility vehicle'

Domestic violence against the elderly

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Hey, you two. Stay for dinner! We'll throw a pizza in the blender!"

"Hey - quiet down - can't you see we're conducting serious business here?!"

The Elderly Caring for the Elderly

"Did you say you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. . . I'd forget about it!"

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Volunteer Bureau: 'I want to help people who are older than myself...'

Fetch the Walker

'Have I just come down, or am I just going up?'

Nil by care

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

'Do you mind? You're double parked.'

"This is Jane, your allocated worker. If there's anything worrying you then she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly!"

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Duel in a wheelchair.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."