Elderly Care Professional Gifts

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"It's good that he can manage the stairs at his age."

Care Home Eject Button.

"Is there a problem here, senors?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Handle With Care

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Duel in a wheelchair.

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Someone to see you!"

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Caution Student Driver.

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

Fetch the Walker

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"My butt is loose!"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore