Dealing With Elderly Care Gifts

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Careful."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Duel in a wheelchair.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Caution Student Driver.

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Fetch the Walker

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

Mrs Smith and her daughter - now and 40 years later...

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

"Son... promise me you'll send out a blast to my followers."

Care Home Eject Button.

"My butt is loose!"