Education Critics Gifts

"What did you expect from a failing education system?"

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

Cutting Room Floor

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Here's my report Dad. I got an A, an S, a B and an O.'

Standardized Testing

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

No Readmittance

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'